Splitting America

Something nasty is happening in America. Have you noticed the trend? There’s more bullying, more incivility, more disrespect and even more relationship violence between us at home, at work, in our communities and in the news. And, it seems to be increasing rather than decreasing. We have noticed a pattern to this behavior that is all too familiar: Personal Attacks, Crisis Emotions, All-or-Nothing Solutions, Narcissistic Behavior and Negative Advocates. We are well-acquainted with this pattern in high-conflict divorces from working with divorcing families over the past 30 years, and it’s not good. This behavior is called “high-conflict” because it increases the conflict, rather than reducing or resolving it. Worst of all, it’s contagious – it spreads when people are exposed to it, like a virus. Recently, political leaders in both parties appear to be adopting and escalating high-conflict behavior, and perhaps, even leading it. Millionaires and billionaires are funding expensive ads as key elements in high-conflict election campaigns. And, the news media promote high-conflict behavior in every broadcast – to children as well as to adults – by relentlessly showing, and thereby teaching, the most dramatic bad behavior of the day. We have seen this high-conflict behavior “split” too many families going through divorce, and we don’t want to see it destroy the American family. We want to avoid a Democrat-Republican high-conflict divorce. This book focuses on the patterns of high-conflict behavior we are seeing today in today’s politicians. There’s even a scorecard for comparing candidates by looking at their patterns of behavior. This book is our small effort to calm this national conflict – for the good of the American family.

Something nasty is happening in America. Have you noticed the trend? There’s more bullying, more incivility, more disrespect and even more relationship violence between us at home, at work, in our communities and in the news. And, it seems to be increasing rather than decreasing. We have noticed a pattern to this behavior that is all too familiar: Personal Attacks, Crisis Emotions, All-or-Nothing Solutions, Narcissistic Behavior and Negative Advocates. We are well-acquainted with this pattern in high-conflict divorces from working with divorcing families over the past 30 years, and it’s not good. This behavior is called “high-conflict” because it increases the conflict, rather than reducing or resolving it. Worst of all, it’s contagious – it spreads when people are exposed to it, like a virus. Recently, political leaders in both parties appear to be adopting and escalating high-conflict behavior, and perhaps, even leading it. Millionaires and billionaires are funding expensive ads as key elements in high-conflict election campaigns. And, the news media promote high-conflict behavior in every broadcast – to children as well as to adults – by relentlessly showing, and thereby teaching, the most dramatic bad behavior of the day. We have seen this high-conflict behavior “split” too many families going through divorce, and we don’t want to see it destroy the American family. We want to avoid a Democrat-Republican high-conflict divorce. This book focuses on the patterns of high-conflict behavior we are seeing today in today’s politicians. There’s even a scorecard for comparing candidates by looking at their patterns of behavior. This book is our small effort to calm this national conflict – for the good of the American family.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is President and co-founder of High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California with over fifteen years' experience representing clients in family court, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years' experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples, and families in psychiatric hospitals and out patient clinics. He is Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California. He provides seminars on mental health issues for judges, attorneys, and mediators, and seminars on law and ethics for mental health professionals. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law and serves as adjunct faculty at the National Judicial College and Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University. His articles have appeared in national law and counseling journals. He is the author of several books, including It's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Handling People Who Blame Others for Everything; BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns; Don't Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce; High Conflict People in Legal Disputes; and, SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Bill has been a speaker in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, Sweden, and Australia. He has become an authority and consultant on the subject of high conflict personalities for family law professionals, employee assistance and human resource professionals, ombudspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners associations, and others. Bill obtained his law degree in 1992 from the University of San Diego, a Master's of Social Work degree in 1981 from San Diego State University, and a Bachelor's degree in Psychology in 1970 from Case Western Reserve University. He began his career as a youth social worker in a changing neighborhood in New York City and first became involved in mediation in 1975 in San Diego.