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Book details
  • SubGenre:Conflict Resolution
  • Language:English
  • Pages:368
  • eBook ISBN:9781936268429

It's All Your Fault!

12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything

by Bill Eddy LCSW Esq.

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If you haven't been someone's Target of Blame, you will be soon. According to author Bill Eddy, blaming others is increasing in societies around the globe and there's a pattern in this blaming behavior, driven by people with certain personalities - perhaps 15% of our society. Though it's a growing problem he also believes it is a predictable one, and a problem that can be managed in most cases with more understanding - and doing the opposite of what you feel like doing! Bill Eddy is an author and international speaker to Mediators, Attorneys, Judges, Therapists and others. Now he has written this helpful guide that anyone can use in everyday situations. It's All Your Fault! is based on his experience working with High Conflict People for over 20 years. His "12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame You for Everything" provide invaluable answers for keeping your everyday problems in the workplace, family or neighborhood from becoming "high conflict" disputes.


This is Bill Eddy's book filled with lots of practical methods for handling High Conflict People (HCPs) in any setting, including neighbor disputes, workplace conflicts, family battles, with strangers, etc. HCPs target those close to them and people in positions of authority, so in this book Bill focuses on what to do when YOU are the Target of Blame—and how to avoid (or prevent) being one for long. It is organized around 12 key Tips (5 Do’s and 7 Don’ts), that simplify large concepts into small, easy-to-remember phrases when you’re under the stress of a high conflict dispute. This book is for the general public, so you can give it to anyone. The book includes a lot of his latest thinking and reading about the brain, personality development, interesting cases, and the importance of Negative Advocates on a community’s culture of conflict. It also has (of course) a cartoon for each chapter, from Peanuts, Dilbert, and The New Yorker. Bill goes beyond the information in his previous books, which focused primarily on HCPs in legal settings. He explains the four most common High Conflict Personalities (Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Antisocial), with an emphasis on understanding their High Conflict Thinking—and why it is so contagious. Once again, he gives numerous examples—some real, some fictional—to demonstrate the very predictable dynamics of high conflict disputes. High Conflict People seem to be increasing in today’s conflicts worldwide. As Bill says: “The issue’s not the issue; the High Conflict Personality is the issue.” So prepare yourself by reading IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!

About the author

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is President and co-founder of High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California with over fifteen years' experience representing clients in family court, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years' experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples, and families in psychiatric hospitals and out patient clinics. He is Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California. He provides seminars on mental health issues for judges, attorneys, and mediators, and seminars on law and ethics for mental health professionals. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law and serves as adjunct faculty at the National Judicial College and Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University. His articles have appeared in national law and counseling journals. He is the author of several books, including It's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Handling People Who Blame Others for Everything; BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns; Don't Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce; High Conflict People in Legal Disputes; and, SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Bill has been a speaker in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, Sweden, and Australia. He has become an authority and consultant on the subject of high conflict personalities for family law professionals, employee assistance and human resource professionals, ombudspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners associations, and others. Bill obtained his law degree in 1992 from the University of San Diego, a Master's of Social Work degree in 1981 from San Diego State University, and a Bachelor's degree in Psychology in 1970 from Case Western Reserve University. He began his career as a youth social worker in a changing neighborhood in New York City and first became involved in mediation in 1975 in San Diego.

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