New Ways for Families in Divorce or Separation: Professional Guidebook

New Ways for Families™ is an exciting new method for handling the growing problem of high-conflict families in our courts and out of court, including in Collaborative Divorce and Parenting Coordination cases. It is designed to save courts time, to save parents money, and to protect children as their families re-organize in new ways after a separation or divorce, for married or never-married parents. This interdisciplinary approach requires the cooperation and coordination of all professionals in addressing clients inside or outside the court process. The counseling/coaching component is brief and highly structured. It gives parents a chance to focus on learning skills to make positive changes rather than becoming preoccupied with defending themselves in the endless “attack-defend” cycle of parenting evaluation and litigation. It can be a partial assessment tool for future parenting orders. It gives parents a chance to change. New Ways for Families™ requires a significant shift in attitude toward potentially high-conflict clients. Judges need to emphasize validating and motivating clients for future change, rather than criticizing past behavior – while still making findings and orders about past behavior when necessary. Lawyers need to focus their clients on identifying and presenting neutral information about parenting behavior problems. Therapists need to be less involved in court decision-making, and more involved in counseling clients to overcome barriers to learning new skills. Parents need to be more involved in presenting neutral behavioral information and demonstrating their own new skills in court and out of court. In further development of this method, High Conflict Institute now offers the New Ways method in many models, (1) Court Ordered, (2) Attorney-Initiated, (3) Mediation, (4) Pre-Mediation Coaching, (5) Parent-Initiated, (5) Individual & Family Counseling, (6) Collaborative Divorce, and (7) Decision Skills Class.

New Ways for Families™ is an exciting new method for handling the growing problem of high-conflict families in our courts and out of court, including in Collaborative Divorce and Parenting Coordination cases. It is designed to save courts time, to save parents money, and to protect children as their families re-organize in new ways after a separation or divorce, for married or never-married parents. This interdisciplinary approach requires the cooperation and coordination of all professionals in addressing clients inside or outside the court process. The counseling/coaching component is brief and highly structured. It gives parents a chance to focus on learning skills to make positive changes rather than becoming preoccupied with defending themselves in the endless “attack-defend” cycle of parenting evaluation and litigation. It can be a partial assessment tool for future parenting orders. It gives parents a chance to change. New Ways for Families™ requires a significant shift in attitude toward potentially high-conflict clients. Judges need to emphasize validating and motivating clients for future change, rather than criticizing past behavior – while still making findings and orders about past behavior when necessary. Lawyers need to focus their clients on identifying and presenting neutral information about parenting behavior problems. Therapists need to be less involved in court decision-making, and more involved in counseling clients to overcome barriers to learning new skills. Parents need to be more involved in presenting neutral behavioral information and demonstrating their own new skills in court and out of court. There are growing indications that many judges, lawyers, therapists and parents are ready for such a change in the family court process. In further development of this method, High Conflict Institute now offers the New Ways method in many models, allowing for implementation in any setting, with any type of parent. There are now several approaches to using New Ways: (1) Court Ordered, (2) Attorney-Initiated, (3) Mediation, (4) Pre-Mediation Coaching, (5) Parent-Initiated, (5) Individual and Family Counseling, (6) Collaborative Divorce, and (7) Decision Skills Class.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is President and co-founder of High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California with over fifteen years' experience representing clients in family court, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years' experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples, and families in psychiatric hospitals and out patient clinics. He is Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California. He provides seminars on mental health issues for judges, attorneys, and mediators, and seminars on law and ethics for mental health professionals. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law and serves as adjunct faculty at the National Judicial College and Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University. His articles have appeared in national law and counseling journals. He is the author of several books, including It's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Handling People Who Blame Others for Everything; BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns; Don't Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce; High Conflict People in Legal Disputes; and, SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Bill has been a speaker in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, Sweden, and Australia. He has become an authority and consultant on the subject of high conflict personalities for family law professionals, employee assistance and human resource professionals, ombudspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners associations, and others. Bill obtained his law degree in 1992 from the University of San Diego, a Master's of Social Work degree in 1981 from San Diego State University, and a Bachelor's degree in Psychology in 1970 from Case Western Reserve University. He began his career as a youth social worker in a changing neighborhood in New York City and first became involved in mediation in 1975 in San Diego.