SON of a BITCH

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, SON OF A BITCH is a must read. If you didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family, what the hell's wrong with you? Your family is your family, right? And, since finishing college, Robert has done everything he could to avoid his. But a tragic event suddenly drags him back into his family's dark abyss. His mother Helen is the glue that binds, much like a sucking tar pit binds egrets. It isn't until he falls in love with the sister of his overweight gay paraplegic neighbor that he begins to realize… he has options. "Whom we choose to love is a commodity of value, not a payment due. It is a gift that the recipient must realize and respect. Or forgo."

He's a pretty good guy, Robert. Reasonably honest, compassionate, dependable, maybe a little too sarcastic, but all in all, a decent human being. And that's how he gets screwed by his family. So for the past fifteen years or so, since finishing college, he's managed, for the most part, to avoid them. With the death of his father, however, he finds himself being sucked back into the familial vortex. At its center is the glue that binds the Nirth family, or rather, the sucking tar pit that traps them, Robert's mother—Helen. After her husband's death, she embraces the role of martyred widow with the panache of Mary Todd Lincoln. And because she knows she's now dependent on Robert for her very survival (he is, after all, her only reliable offspring), she works his sense of humanity like a maestro. All that said, deep down, beneath her callous shell and disparaging remarks... well, she's callous and disparaging. Robert's older sister, Darlene, is a born-again Christian with a successful husband, two perfect children with an addiction to alcohol and extramarital sex. She believes that Robert judges her, and she resents him deeply for it. Robert's older brother Lenny, on the other hand, resents him because he has a steady income. Ten years Robert's senior, Lenny is still living the rock 'n' roll dream. But, at forty-six, with thinning hair, a hanging gut, and an abundant lack of talent, Lenny's drive to push his band, Pink Lloyd, has left him broke and wildly bitter. Robert's perspective on his family begins to change, however, when he meets Amy, the beautiful sister of his gay, overweight, paraplegic neighbor. Amy is an astonishingly independent woman who captures his heart, and—after he hears her story—makes him realize that he doesn't have to remain the victim of a destructive family. Robert's also getting to know and love his 10-year-old nephew, Danny (who isn't the kid Robert thought he was). Through Danny, Robert realizes that his sister is much like his mother, and that Danny is living a childhood as bad as his own. These revelations—in the midst of awe-inspiring acts of selfish retribution by his family—lead Robert to make the most crucial decision of this life: to break with them, and rescue his nephew.

Russ Woody is an Emmy and Golden Globe winning television writer. He has written and produced Murphy Brown, Mad About You, Cybill, Becker, The Slap Maxwell Story, The Middle, and The Drew Carey Show, among other comedies. He has also written for the award-winning dramas Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere.