Henry Morgan Selmer was quite content in his bridgehouse, listening to old standards on his Zenith, pecking out his great American novel at a broken typewriter, and trying to ignore the world around him. But along comes Eddie Eye as his new apprentice and Henry’s world is capsized. In spite of their mutual disdain, ol' Captain Henry and Eddie have a number of misadventures with some well-seasoned diner waitresses, an obese lighthouse wickie, a homeless basket weaver, a pair of drunken bricklayers, a gaggle of leathernecked fishermen, a near-naked Buddhist monk, and some jackasses in an egg-yellow Camaro. Curse the pirates!! It’s a Florida vacation without the TSA pat-down, and a novel Ernest Hemingway would have hated."