Adoption Songs

Most of us know someone who either is adopted or has adopted children, but how often do we hear their full story? Adoption Songs is a compilation of twenty narratives highlighting the many sides of adoption. Through her research, Ms. Evans Ermi discovered common challenges that many adoptees face, ranging from the pre- and neo-natal bonding/abandonment polarity surrounding an adoption to struggles with attachment and belonging. Up until recently, these issues were not typically known, diagnosed, or discussed. Decades of societal conventions that kept adoption stigmatized are giving way to an era of open adoptions, unsealed records, and DNA discovery. The narratives are heartwarming and heartbreaking, providing insights into the complexity of adoption and the emotions that go along with it. Adoption Songs aims to inspire open dialogue so that the joy adoptive parents feel when their child enters their life can be balanced with the child's experience and emotions (in childhood and beyond). Perfect for book clubs and adoption agencies, those considering adoption and adoptees, Adoption Songs is a place to land and feel at home.

The genesis of Adoption Songs in 2019, prior to my enlightenment to adoption/abandonment trauma, was an angel whisper delivered by a chance encounter with a neighbor/acquaintance and her family at the Montgomery Country Club. I didn't know Cherin well, but I really admired her. A STEM talent with three beautiful sons and a loving husband, she and her family were adorable, and as we started to chit-chat, the topic of adoption came up. I am always excited to learn that someone is also adopted. It's an unspoken club; we know that we instantly relate to one another in a way no one else can. Cherin began to tell me her story, and I was blown away. It hit me like the proverbial wrecking ball, and I had an epiphany right in that moment that these adoption stories needed to be told! I asked her if she would be willing to talk to me and let me capture her compelling story. She agreed, and the idea of Adoption Songs came to life. Cherin was my first interview of 15. You can read about her story in Track Two, "I Won't Give Up." One discovery that is obvious to me now, but was a watershed moment a few months ago, was the fact that many adoptees struggle with a sense of belonging. Well, no kidding! It absolutely had not dawned on me until very recently, and finding resources like Nancy Verrier's The Primal Wound and Anne Heffron's You Don't Look Adopted, that that was the reason I often felt alone or like I did not fit in. I have had a full life of opportunity, whether it was leading in school activities, seeking career advancement, entertaining friends and family, developing close relationships with neighbors, engaging in school parenting activities (field trip mom!), or discovering DNA family. But despite all of that, there has always been this gnawing sensation that I just did not fit anywhere. I began to wonder if that was why I threw myself into so many activities and involved myself in so much; I was seeking to fill that hole and find the spot where I felt I fit. And it turns out, this is a common sentiment among the adopted population. How those manifests and is subsequently managed varies widely across adoptees.  Adoption Songs highlights twenty stories from adoptees, adoptive families and allies who chose a song that resonates with their journey, and that is the title of their "track" or chapter. Heartwarming and Heartbreaking Narratives From the Many Sides of Adoption intends to create awareness to the mainstream enamored with the idea that adoption is beautiful; yes, it can be. And there is more.