A Look Out on Dementia (Poems of a Care Giver, a Friend, a Relative)

Dementia is certainly not a new concept or occurrence. However, in more modern times, Alzheimer's disease was first identified in 1906 by Dr. Alois Alzheimer, a German physician. Regardless of the term used or the type, whether prefrontal, Lewy Body, Pick's Disease, Alzheimer's disease or Vascular, when a dementia with its behavioral deficits hits home, it is life altering, both for the individual and for the family and friends. In my family and in the lives of my friends and their families, I have personally witnessed exactly how a dementia can affect the life of the person as well as the lives of family members and care givers. Over the course of several years I have observed its effects very, very personally as the reader will see. There are many suggestions and wonderful books and organizations to assist and to guide the care giver in the journey with a loved one experiencing dementia. For me, writing has always been an outlet, whether for historical investigations; for novels; for short stories; for essays or for poems. It was with much delight that I saw how journaling and creative writing including poetic expression are highly recommended for the care giver. Writing, especially the poems I included in this book, helped me in maintaining some balance in the circumstances in which I found myself and in assisting my own mental health. All of the events, descriptions and feelings in my poems are real. However, I disguised some of the identities of the persons (but only some) and their relationships to me. Most of the occurrences were very up-close and personal while others were from more casual, distant observations. The progression of loss in dementia will be noted. This book contains 52 poetic offerings related to dementia in various ways. Haiku has also been included. Many poems are bittersweet. Some have an angry tone over the loss of someone special. Some focuses on specific behaviors of those living with dementia and what the care giver faced. I hope my love and respect, for all these individuals come through in my writings. I also hope that the poems will give pleasure, perhaps comfort, or maybe a different perspective on their own situation to all my readers. And, all throughout the care I've given and the care I've witnessed from others, I have questions of how the loved one, caught in this dementia, thinks and feels. Some of their responses of anger, tears and avoidance are quite obvious but others are not. I often wish I could be a traveler in their land, their world, their universe, however brief. I've thought it would make my understanding of them better and enhance my care. I have observed their behaviors, their pronouncements and I've tried to make a picture of their experience in my mind: though I think this might be egotistical on my part. How can one ever know the contents of another's mind and soul? And I also think it might be invasive: what right do I have to enter into another's private thoughts and hopes and fears? However, (and I smile as I type this): I have rationalized it. If by trying to understand their thoughts, it helps my care, I'll accept and apologize for any lines I've crossed.