A Gathering of One

After two personal tragedies in one year, the landscape of Gertrude's life looks flat and barren. Suddenly childless, she wanders the vast emptiness. Although her women gather, bringing sustenance and encouragement, it is not until her gaunt reflection startles her, that she realizes she must take a step forward. With intrepid strength, Gert goes back to her career. When her baby sister, Mildred (my mother) gives birth to Mark, Gert is smitten. She spends every free moment enjoying her nephew. However, by the time Mark is two, Gert notices odd repetitive behaviors that concern her. Always protective of Mildred's frail constitution, she chooses to keep her worries to herself. As Mark turns five, he becomes a big brother to me and Gert assumes the role of my "other mother" AND my lifelong hero. This is our story. It depicts the concept of "being there" in all of the ways that women have made themselves available to one another since the dawn of time. My aunt Gert's presence buffers my painful and restricted childhood, while always creating and enhancing the positive. After three stillbirths and a dangerous final pregnancy, my heart still carries all of my aunt Gert's comforting words and deeds.

After two personal tragedies in one year, the landscape of Gertrude's life looks flat and barren. Suddenly childless, she wanders in a vast emptiness for months. Her women gather, bringing sustenance and encouragement, but it is not until a long look in the mirror shows a serious weight loss and sickly pallor, that she knows a change must be made. Summoning an intrepid strength, Gert pulls herself together and takes a step forward. With relief and wide open arms, her boss welcomes her back to work. When her younger sister, Mildred, gives birth to Mark, Gert is instantly enamored with him. Every moment of her spare time is spent helping with her adorable nephew. However, as the little boy grows, she notices odd behaviors and repetitive actions that worry her. She keeps these concerns to herself, as Mildred has a fragile constitution and often needs care, herself. Shortly after Mark turns five, he becomes a big brother to Bonnie. Gert becomes Bonnie's other mother and lifelong hero. Born into a troubled household, Bonnie takes on the role as the easy one. Her father works in the movie making industry, which requires him to travel all over the world. Sadly, when he is home, he can not contain his anger at Mark's disruptive behaviors and resorts to physical punishment. Mildred has retreated to bed, where she barks out demands to Bonnie and hides when Mark is being admonished or hit. Bonnie hides, too, while beseeching God to let her die. It is during these times that Gert infers there is distress and dependably shows up to offer comfort to everyone, especially to young Bonnie, who is living such a restricted life. She becomes a reliable presence who brings support during chaos and shared joy during all of the triumphs. She sees Bonnie through every milestone and heart break, including a high risk pregnancy and devastating stillbirths. As Bonnie grows up, the caring between her and Gert becomes reciprocal and lasts for the rest of Gert's life.

As an avid reader, I have always loved the written word. In school I couldn't wait to work on book reports and assignments that included essays. In my twenties and thirties, I had my own column in local newspapers, where I wrote about family issues, the medical world and relationships. My husband and I have two grown daughters and three grandchildren. I also have an older brother who is on the Autism Spectrum. As an educator of students with special needs, I felt a calling to write a book about my life, growing up as the only sibling of a special needs child. The purpose was to show other siblings and their parents that growth, education and experience will, in so many cases, do wonders for the child on the spectrum. Although I grew up in Teaneck, New Jersey, I have been a New Englander for most of my adult life. I adore living in a place with such a rich history. In addition to writing and reading, I enjoy painting, cooking and entertaining, but my first choice is always spending time with family.