As a father and a therapist with thirty-five years of experience who went through divorce and who watched the emotional impact it had on my child and later on my stepson, I conceived and wrote Little Fergen's Fish Feelings.
I have worked with many children who have suffered from the effects of divorce. What I've learned over time is that the problems triggered as a result of parental divorce, such as feelings, are at the core of many emotional imbalances kids experience as they grow and learn to navigate life.
Fergen developed over time. The idea came to me in the early stages of my divorce but went dormant for ten years. During that time, I continued to practice and study, learning more about trauma and how trauma impacts the development of a child's brain. I learned about attachment, how to treat trauma, hypnosis, parenting, and family therapy. Currently, I have studied Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP). As a result, what became clear to me as a therapist is the critical importance of tending to the feelings that occur in all of us every day. It is both interesting and sad that emotion, which is ultimately our collective birthright as human beings, is disavowed, and that people, specifically children, are shamed for feeling their feelings. When our feelings are left unprocessed and unacknowledged, they can have an extremely negative effect on people and become the foundation for anxiety disorders, depression, behavioral problems, and other physiological difficulties.
I recommend that therapists and parents alike use Fergen, either for therapists to read to their patients, or for parents to read over and over to their children. For parents who are in the process of divorcing, I recommend that each parent reads Fergen to their child or children, to provide continuity and reinforcement.
Fergen provides guidance about feelings for both the children and the parents. For parents who are also taught to shy away from their feelings, or to relegate the more intense feelings to the back part of their minds, they can pass this learning on to their children. Although Fergen is a children’s story, the book contains knowledge for the parents as well.
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Thank you for reading Little Fergen's Fish Feelings. You can find it at http://cmipsychotherapy.com/therapyToolShop.html
Charles