Speak Fluent Man

In Speak Fluent Man, Von Decarlo invites you into the intimate truths uncovered during her ten-year relationship with the late, brilliant comedian Patrice O'Neal—a journey of love, language, and learning to truly hear one another. This is the story of a woman who set out to understand the language of men—not to lose herself, but to be understood in return. A memoir woven with raw honesty and deep reflection, Speak Fluent Man explores what it means to love without illusion, to communicate without fear, and to live in a space where both people feel seen, heard, and free. No matter your gender, identity, or orientation, this book is a guide to unlocking the full potential of your relationships—through the courage to speak your truth, and the grace to understand someone else's. Love is a language—and fluency begins with listening.