Loosen Your Nuts, Kevin Banks

A hilarious look into the mind of a young male as he pursues the lust of his life, Karen. Incidents and accidents (thanks, Paul S) beset him, many alcohol related. Will he get to speak to her? Will he survive Bazz and Smartmart? Will 'The Editor' ever offer useful advice? How do Goebbels and Mengele enter the story? Or Laurel and Hardy? Why is there an Angel on the cover? The answers to all these questions and fewer are within this 'lewd, rude and crude' story.

This is a light-hearted, hilarious insight into the minds of young men growing up, carelessly drinking to excess, doing themselves physical harm, recovering and then starting all over again. Kevin lets us hear his innermost thoughts as he pursues the lust of his grey life, Karen Fletcher. The kind of thoughts many of us bury rather than voice when faced with stupidity, unreasonableness, moronically unfair treatment or drunken, twisted fantasy. Trapped in the stultifying office world of conveyancing at Mayfield, Wiley, Pratt, Whitfield, Scott, Emerson, Henderson and Smith, a firm with too many senior partners, he longs for a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex. Actually that sentence was too long; he longs for sex. Kevin innocently contrives to do everything wrong, from getting badly concussed to being kidnapped, trapped in a taxi, a toilet and hospital waiting rooms. But not all at once, that's impossible. He suffers several injuries along the way, many physical but just as many psychological. Yet still he persists. Despite this Karen does respond and they 'get together' and begin to plan a life of bliss; a wedding, a honeymoon. All the normal things that normal couples normally will. But of course nothing in Kevin’s world is straightforward and mishaps occur, both by his own thoughtlessness and that of unthinking, uncaring, drunken, drugged or just plain ignorant and unreasonable others. Reviewers have said '...undoubtedly one of the best books of its type that I have read for some time...quite exceptional ability as a writer; the style has a vitality and freshness about it...an excellent narrative technique that engages the reader instantly...really superb...a very fine example of a book in the humour genre...very professional book of the highest calibre...thoroughly entertaining from beginning to end...great laugh-out-loud imagery...superbly written...' Just buy it, read it and laugh. Or weep.

I retired from a long career in photographic and ICT sales in 2012 and immediately took up my interest in writing. I try to treat my writing time as if I were still at work, but as all writers will tell you, ‘life frustratingly gets in the way’. Until I began attending a weekly writers group I did everything wrong, including trying to start my intended novel at page one, line one. The best advice I was given at one of these groups was ‘write what you feel, what you are compelled to write’, also ‘you can’t edit nothing, so at least write something’. I have previously written plays for use by youth groups and was fortunate to have one 20-minute play performed at the Royal Albert Hall as part of a larger piece. The advent of computers means I can write in a totally illogical fashion (rather than A-Z) and paste everything together later. ‘Loosen Your Nuts’ was written in this way - I start typing and let my mind go where it will. (hence the fantasies, dreams and somewhat bizarre situations.) I have never attended formal workshops or retreats for writing, but I do go to a couple of groups where we discuss, drink gallons of tea and eat tons of biscuits. This interaction helps me with ideas and better practice. It also forces me to attempt other writing genres I would not normally write, such as ghost, murder, poetry etc. This means I have a catalogue of pieces I could pick up and run with, should I wish to do so.