All the Lovely Freaks

"All the Lovely Freaks" is 24 stories (11 previously published in literary journals) of sexual, religious, and psychopathological fetishes, compulsions, phobias, and other very human oddities, taken from real life. Included are revelations about Dr. Mumu, afflicted with a medically- induced perpetual erection, who services, pro-gratis, a dozen needy maidens, themselves unusually endowed. In "Francine," a man with a snake tongue desperately tries to catch up on his true accounts of women who accost him wherever he goes, salvation possible only by a complete up-to-date accounting. Harry Powers must attend “The S&M Party.” With bizarre consequences. "Happy." A man on a camping trip insists on making his female companion "happy.” But when she finally tells him what he must do to make her happy, he is the most unhappy man on earth. "The Weirdest Thing." A 90-pound female weight-lifter on steroids can see and hear abnormal truths, but feels compelled to expose her genitals to car passerby’s to keep the universe orderly. In "Trauma," a young man is fascinated by a young woman who dances like a horse, drinks like a mad demon from another planet, chases him and is chased by him, through a lifetime, soul mates perpetually, psychotically, mismatched. In "Threesome” an old woman wants the head nurse in the old folk’s home to allow her to have threesomes, one or more old man to visit her in her room at night. And, she says, if the nurse comes, it could be a foursome. "I want to see you do it." A young man wants to see his beloved urinate and defecate, which she finally shyly accedes to, causing an extraordinary animalistic orgy. "Star." A 520-pound man is forced by his sweetheart to get fatter and fatter, and wear bloomers, so he can star as the main attraction at lesbian strip-tease clubs. "It could have happened to anyone." A young woman tries to convince an old man he should lose his virginity to her before he marries the rich woman who demands a virgin. The girl herself is secretly a virgin, and the so-called “virginal man” is revealed finally to be her father. "The P.T.” A young sexually-teasing woman collects the photos (300) of men who attempt to take her virginity. Harry, after excruciating sexual torment, frustration, tries to escape before she can get his photo. "Stout, Stout." A religious cult, all women, forms around over- eating and sexual rites centered on the grossly-obese preacher man. These are a few of the true stories in “All the Lovely Freaks." People who are only exaggerations of you and me. Lonely and lovely.

"All the Lovely Freaks" is 24 stories (11 previously published in literary journals) of sexual, religious, and psychopathological fetishes, compulsions, phobias, and other very human oddities, taken from real life. Included are revelations about Dr. Mumu, afflicted with a medically- induced perpetual erection, who services, pro-gratis, a dozen needy maidens, themselves unusually endowed. In "Francine," a man with a snake tongue desperately tries to catch up on his true accounts of women who accost him wherever he goes, salvation possible only by a complete up-to-date accounting. Harry Powers must attend “The S&M Party.” With bizarre consequences. "Happy." A man on a camping trip insists on making his female companion "happy.” But when she finally tells him what he must do to make her happy, he is the most unhappy man on earth. "The Weirdest Thing." A 90-pound female weight-lifter on steroids can see and hear abnormal truths, but feels compelled to expose her genitals to car passerby’s to keep the universe orderly. In "Trauma," a young man is fascinated by a young woman who dances like a horse, drinks like a mad demon from another planet, chases him and is chased by him, through a lifetime, soul mates perpetually, psychotically, mismatched. In "Threesome” an old woman wants the head nurse in the old folk’s home to allow her to have threesomes, one or more old man to visit her in her room at night. And, she says, if the nurse comes, it could be a foursome. "I want to see you do it." A young man wants to see his beloved urinate and defecate, which she finally shyly accedes to, causing an extraordinary animalistic orgy. "Star." A 520-pound man is forced by his sweetheart to get fatter and fatter, and wear bloomers, so he can star as the main attraction at lesbian strip-tease clubs. "It could have happened to anyone." A young woman tries to convince an old man he should lose his virginity to her before he marries the rich woman who demands a virgin. The girl herself is secretly a virgin, and the so-called “virginal man” is revealed finally to be her father. "The P.T.” A young sexually-teasing woman collects the photos (300) of men who attempt to take her virginity. Harry, after excruciating sexual torment, frustration, tries to escape before she can get his photo. "Stout, Stout." A religious cult, all women, forms around over- eating and sexual rites centered on the grossly-obese preacher man. These are a few of the true stories in “All the Lovely Freaks." People who are only exaggerations of you and me. Lonely and lovely.

Grant Flint has been published in Story Quarterly, The Nation, The King’s English, Poetry, Weber, The Courtland Review, The Sun, Slow Trains, Northwind, and 37 other print and online journals. He won the memoir prize in the 2007 "Soul Making Literary Contest," was published in the 2007 "Writer’s Digest Short Story Competition Collection,” and nominated for the 2009 Pushcart Prize. He has been writing for 60 years, does stand-up comedy, composes jazz on the keyboard, and meets wonderful women in the personal ads.