The Vampire Patrons

Welcome to Barlowe's, where the food is substandard and the patrons are anything but ordinary. Where the talk is of murder, corruption, and zombie rights. Throw in a few vampires who also happen to be family, a werewolf to wait their table, and a dash of murder for seasoning, and you've got the makings of a promising evening: one of dry wit, impersonation, and deadly secrets. They say fortune favors the bold. But they don't know a thing about dysfunctional vampire sibling rivalry.

The single greatest misconception about vampires is the notion they can't appreciate a good joke. So begins The Vampire Patrons, a comedic look into the dysfunctional lives of four vampires, all siblings, living in a modern-day world where vampires, werewolves, the undead, and human beings work and live side-by-side, tolerating each other as best they can. But all is not what it seems when a series of brutal maulings grips the city, and the four find themselves piecing together a murder mystery over their weekly dinners together at a second-rate diner - that is, when they're not busy arguing amongst themselves.

Robert Gruett grew up in Carol Stream, Illinois, and was homeschooled from 3rd grade through 8th grade. It was during those early years of being taught from the dining room table that he began writing a series of science fiction stories, first using pen and paper, then on an electric typewriter, and finally on his parents' trusty Commodore 128. Today, Robert lives in Aurora, Illinois, with his wife, daughter, son, two cats, and dog. While not writing fiction, he dabbles in photography. Officially, the IT industry pays the bills, but Robert hopes to one day give up the daily grind of systems support in favor of becoming a full-time writer instead.