The Intimacy Tree

I didn't grow up imagining I'd write a book about intimacy. I grew up in the backyard of Yale University, in low-income housing in the inner city of New Haven, surrounded by brilliant, complex, loving people who didn't always have the language for what they felt. That's where my curiosity about people, emotions, and relationships really started. My parents didn't have much, but they taught me about love, sacrifice, and resilience long before I had the clinical words for any of it. I'm the first in my family to graduate high school, and the first to graduate college in two generations—a milestone I carry for all of us. I have two living siblings: a sister whose strength and resilience inspire me, and a brother who is hands down the funniest and strongest person I know. My family is loud, imperfect, loving, and real—and so much of my understanding of intimacy began with them. My love for writing didn't start with books, it started with beats. In middle school, I was a wannabe rapper, writing rhymes in notebooks and winning rap battles in the cafeteria for candy bars. In high school, the rap turned into love poems, and then into stories. An English teacher noticed how much I loved storytelling and metaphor and encouraged me to keep writing. That nudge stayed with me. Years later, that love for story, emotion, and metaphor blended with my work as a licensed clinical social worker. In my therapy and coaching work, I've walked alongside individuals and couples who were trying to heal, reconnect, or simply understand themselves better. It was through these moments, watching people discover themselves layer by layer, that I began to see clear patterns about intimacy, connection, and what it truly takes to build healthy relationships. The Intimacy Tree grew out of my lived experiences, my spiritual grounding, years of observing how people navigate love and connection, and the profound clarity I found during my own moments of stillness. Above all, it reflects my belief that intimacy, real intimacy, starts from within. Outside of my professional life, I'm a lover of the arts and movement. Dancing is one of my favorite ways to feel alive—hip-hop, salsa, merengue, and bachata all hold space in my world. I love music that makes you feel something: jazz, R&B soul, old-school rap and Afro beats and hip-hop. Art, rhythm, and story all feel like different dialects of the same language to me. One of the most meaningful chapters of my life has been discovering my Nigerian Igbo roots. I had the honor of meeting the King of Igboland, who gave me my Igbo name: Chiamaka Okorie, which means "God is good" and "Orie day." That moment felt like a piece of my identity coming home. On the personal side, I've been married for over 22 years to what I affectionately call "the most loyal, funny and supportive husband on the planet." Together, we've raised two talented sons I am incredibly proud of—they are, in many ways, my greatest teachers and my greatest joy. The Intimacy Tree: Five Principles & Levels to Strengthen Relationships is more than a book to me, it's a reflection of my life, my work, my faith, my culture, and my deep belief that healing and connection are possible. It's for anyone who has ever wondered, "Is there more to love, more to me, than what I've experienced so far?" My hope is that as you read, reflect, and move through its pages, you feel less alone and more seen and that you're inspired to grow deeper roots of self-intimacy, emotional honesty, and authentic connection in every area of your life.