The Big White Dog with Green Eyes

I am a scientist, not a cheer leader! I won't shake pom poms and promise you the moon. All I can do is teach you how to create the love you had when you first met, when love was so exciting and easy. It was chemistry that caused all that. I can teach you how to re-create that chemistry. How? Follow the eight instructions in this book exactly as directed.

Do you remember when you fell in love--the excitement, always wanting to be with the other, kiss, hold each other and where mores permitted, have mad passionate sex all the time? Do you remember the other things that made that honeymoon period so special? You both were blinded to the other's personality traits that would have stopped you from mating such as one being a slob and the other a perfectionist. You had finally found someone who appreciated you for all that you were, even your warts. He or she listened to your every word with interest and understood the meanings, even the hidden ones. You had a magical bond of emotion where words were seldom needed. You could risk talking about any subject and do so to completion. Neither felt controlled by old feelings or events from the past. Everything was so easy. And then what happened? The magic began fading in a few months. Everything got harder to do. Both felt rejected asking for sex, neither felt appreciated as before, both stopped listening with rapt interest, neither felt heard as before. Discussions turned to arguments and some arguments you couldn't resolve. Scientists tell us that we were never in love during those beginning months. They say that certain hormones many refer to as "Love Chemicals" converged in our bloodstreams to cause mating and the love was actually lust. All those feelings we had of being appreciated, listened to, heard, the magic bond were illusions produced by chemicals on the brain. When the chemicals lost their effects in six months, we lost all those wonderful attributes we believed were love. Many relationships broke up and marriages ended in divorce. Those who stayed found love to be less passionate, more routine, tedious and perhaps lifeless. Would you like to feel again what you felt in the beginning, except this time on a permanent basis? The eight skills taught in this book are the eight attributes you lost with the love chemicals. You now can learn the skills and create the excitement every time you practice them.

Lane Stokes at age ten became interested in why some succeed while others fail. His life's quest became discovering patterns of failure and ways to turn those into success. His subjects were children, adults, seniors, salespersons, athletes, soldiers in battle, suicidal patients, the religious and superstitious, Seriously Persistent Mentally Ill, and couples. Most notable were his discoveries of patterns within the Bipolar, Borderline Personality, Narcissistic Personality Disorders and married couples. Graduate studies were Master of Divinity, Emory University, Master of Community Counseling, Georgia State University, Clinical Pastoral Education, Wesley Woods Geriatric Hospital, and employment as Senior Mental Health Clinician at Fulton County Mental Health Center and Grady Hospital. He has spent the past 33 years in private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor, Mental Health Specialist and Marriage Counselor. In 2019 he developed his eight step method for changing patterns of failure into successful marriages. He may be contacted through CounselingServicesAtlanta.com