In the footsteps of J.R.R Comes a The Baggelbarts. A
fantasy Novel... In Epic Gibbering Proportions ....
Reviews on the Baggelbarts!
----- I read the story and it was the funniest (book/story or text) I have ever read. I had my macitosh read me a chapter every night and I went to sleep laughing. I really enjoyed it, I hope you write 100 more... A.K.A Treebeard
"How can this be, Nelpander, I'm a coward. I can't face an Evil thing like him, where the only advantage I have is being a fast runner."
"I agree, emotional would be best although it depends on what kind of pain we're talking about. Is it like stubbing your toe? I'd rather stub my toe than go through emotional pain, but I'd rather go through emotional pain, than have my belly ripped open and displayed for folks to gawk at."
"The tale I'm going to tell cannot be told in common tongue. The story I'm about to tell you, in Epic gibbering proportions, needs to be spoken in Gibberish to be fully appreciated."
"Well, if we are to die, die we must, but not today! It's not a good day to die, tomorrow's always better than today. Yes, especially when it's dying we're talking about, and not someone else, but Me, Me die? If I were to die, I would not exist. Therefore, am I really here now if I am to die?"
"Get your own staff. This is mine, I tell you, all mine! Oh yes! What a staff! It's mighty! It's powerful! It's hand made! And, most important of all, it's mine. See those marks? My initials. It's mine."
The Smelly Man
"Yes! Yes Baggelberts! I have a name! And it's not the Smelly Man! My name is Pelpar Greygar! When I was Pelpar, things were great! I even had a wench! Yes! A wench! And what a fine wench she was! We used to take walks in the moonlight, and I would fondle her in front of fellows who couldn't get their own wench, which, of course, caused them to call me vulgar names in their jealousy.
The Fat Farmer-
"After all, Dragons take what they want. Does little good quarreling with Dragons. I mean, if I had some fine rugs, all the Dragon would have to do is step on me, and then tell folks he inherited the rugs from me when I died. I don't think whoever investigates these things would bother looking on the bottoms of the Dragon's feet and ask, 'Hey, who's this fellow you stepped in?' I mean, even if the dragon wasn't smiling...."
"Belgrotten's mother won't allow him to write any more until his penmanship improves, My mother just happy I have favorite letters, and, if I could actually write them, she'd swear I was a gloryboy!"
The not appearing in this book
"I'm not printing this whole book just so you can read while squatting. If I'm going to print this you'll have to explain it to the tree you killed...!!!"