- Genre:fiction
- Sub-genre:Satire
- Language:English
- Pages:148
- eBook ISBN:9780984794195
- Paperback ISBN:9780984794188
Book details
Overview
People think they know what California's Napa Valley is all about, but the story has never been told. You probably didn't know Napa is actually a Duchy, right? And that its ruler, the old Duke, is so senile now that he has decided to issue a decree that wines from anywhere else in the world are not worthy of Napa's consumers, and are forbidden in the Napa Duchy? When the clamp-down happens, his subjects are naturally pretty steamed about paying thirty or forty bucks for a glass of Merlot, even at a lunch counter. And so the smuggling begins. More and more cheap vino is showing up all over the place. The two stalwarts of the Duchy Border Patrol, Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy, are on the hot seat.
Who is bringing in all the illegal hooch? And how are they doing it?
The Duke swears he'll put the entire Border Patrol on security detail at the municipal car wash if they can't nail the smugglers, and fast.
Determined to find some answers, Donny and Sandy take a deep dive into the festering underbelly of deepest, darkest Napa. What they discover is a whole lot more than just delicious meatloaf, righteous bar snacks, and a ton of world-class bondage parlors.
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A satire/spoof of California's Napa Valley, couched in a tongue-in-cheek detective/noir style. This fanciful Napa is actually a Duchy, known not just for excellent wines, but for toxic river kayaking, exquisite food-truck cuisine, and world-class bondage parlors. Everyone and everything is a little shady in this Napa, including the exotic dancers who dance on table tops at IHOP and in the Dukeway Supermarket.
The Duke, now old and paranoid, has decided that only Napa wines are good enough to be served within the Duchy's borders—all others, from anywhere in the world, are forbidden. He is demanding better border protection and even begins insisting on having a wall built around the Duchy's perimeter to discourage smugglers, but sure enough, cheap wine begins popping up all over, anyway.
Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy, who run the Border Patrol, are on the hot seat. Either they catch the shadowy smugglers within a week, or the Duke swears he will have them working security at the municipal car wash.
So who is bringing the cheap stuff in, against the Duke's wishes?
Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy launch a desperate search for answers—diving into the dark corners of Napa's festering underbelly to find the smugglers and save their jobs.
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