Mollie's Rules for the Socially Inept: 2012

MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT, by humorist Mollie Fermaglich and written with tongue planted firmly, examines social behavior and customs. Without question there are those people who know inherently which fork to use, how to properly eat chicken and what to wear to the Bridgehampton Polo Match. Then there are the rest us. If you are someone who places a napkin on your lap only when dining with others, swallow olive pits because you don’t know what else to do with them, who must think twice before answering the question, “Were you brought up in a barn?” MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT is for you. It is a book that addresses such monumental questions about what is or isn’t socially acceptable in 2012: What should you know about dating a married person? Where do monograms belong? Is there anything wrong with ordering the most expensive thing on the menu even if you know your date is broke? How can you fire someone and still get him to finish his work before he leaves? Is it rude to ask your hostess where she’s hiding the good booze? Are personal ringtones annoying to everyone or just me? How soon after the meal is served may one leave a dinner party? How can you avoid contributing to office gifts? If someone is choking at the dinner table, is it okay to ask for his dessert? What is in poor taste and can you get away with it anyway? MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT does not attempt to change you, nor is it concerned with your behavior when you are home alone because even if you use your mouth to clip your toe-nails, who cares? It’s a book geared to help those of you with questionable table manners, limited social grace and absolutely no finesse whatsoever, carry off your reprehensible behavior with verve and style. Most importantly, it is a practical book, offering no-nonsense, straight-forward advice on how to handle yourself in the most difficult social and professional settings. For it is only when you are comfortable in these situations that you will be able to relax, feel good about yourself and pay attention to the truly important things, including the company you’re in and the ambience of your surroundings that you will be able to ask yourself, “Hey – if this is such a classy party why is there a ‘cash-only’ bar?” Whether you’re inept at the dinner table, when dining at a fine restaurant, at parties, the office or on a blind date with someone who’s much fatter than he sounded on the phone, MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT are the only rules to live by in these ungovernable times.

MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT, by humorist Mollie Fermaglich and written with tongue planted firmly, examines social behavior and customs. Without question there are those people who know inherently which fork to use, how to properly eat chicken and what to wear to the Bridgehampton Polo Match. Then there are the rest us. If you are someone who places a napkin on your lap only when dining with others, swallow olive pits because you don’t know what else to do with them, who must think twice before answering the question, “Were you brought up in a barn?” MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT is for you. This is an honest book, a book that addresses such questions as: Have social mores really changed over the years? What is socially acceptable in 2012? What is in poor taste and can you get away with it anyway? MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT does not attempt to change you, nor is it concerned with your behavior when you are home alone because even if you use your mouth to clip your toe-nails, who cares? It’s a book geared to help those of you with questionable table manners, limited social grace and absolutely no finesse whatsoever, carry off your reprehensible behavior with verve and style. Whether you’re inept at the dinner table, when dining at a fine restaurant, at parties, the office or on a blind date with someone who’s much fatter than he sounded on the phone, MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT are the only rules to live by in these ungovernable times. Finally, MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT attempts to define a contemporary code of social ethics. Is it old-fashioned to stand when a woman enters the room? What’s the proper way to respond to a dinner invitation? Is it wrong to not offer your seat on a bus or train to a pregnant woman? Is it wrong if you hide your face behind The New York Times so it looks like you didn’t see there was a pregnant woman standing two feet from you? It is the author’s hope that this book answers these and many other practical, common and often selfish questions as openly and honestly as possible. Though Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post might disagree or be shocked by MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT, they would have the social grace to keep their thoughts to themselves. And besides—they’re dead. That being said, they perhaps more than anyone would agree that, as times change, so must social behavior.

Humorist Mollie Fermaglich has written for television, film, radio, newspapers, and magazines. Her satirical articles have appeared in such publications as The New York Times, Mademoiselle, The Village Voice, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, London Times, King Features Syndicate, Penthouse and several other magazines and newspapers. She is the author of three books and her television credits include work for CBS, Hallmark Entertainment, Disney, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Sesame Workshop, Animal Planet and other production companies. She has worked as a script doctor for Paramount Films and Hart Break Films and her screenplay, “It’s Only Me,” was purchased by Catalyst Entertainment and Jane Startz Productions. Mollie has had comedy pilots in development for Hallmark Entertainment and Nickelodeon. She currently completed a new book of satirical essays slated to be published in Winter 2012, and is currently working on a novel and a new screenplay. Her first book, “Mollie’s Rules for the Socially Inept,” has been updated and will be re-released in Spring, 2012 and she is the author of the blog, molliesrulesforyou.com. She has appeared as a guest on many television and radio programs and spent a year as an on-air humorist for WPLJ, with Jim Kerr and the Morning Crew. Ms. Fermaglich is a fulltime faculty member of New York University’s prestigious Tisch School of the Arts, where she teaches comedy writing, children’s television writing and screenwriting in the Undergraduate Film and Television Department.