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Book details
  • Genre:FICTION
  • SubGenre:Humorous
  • Language:English
  • Pages:250
  • eBook ISBN:9780985779009

Mascara Saturday

A Novel

by Carol Conn

Book Image Not Available Book Image Not Available
Overview
Rachel Holtner is your average New Yorker whose life took a strange turn. It started out as just another winter Saturday. A leisurely morning abed with husband and coffee, a quick stop at Bloomingdale's, and then the movies. What could go wrong? By day's end, Rachel Holtner's been arrested for felonious assault and inciting a riot. She's been hospitalized for an acute allergy attack (by perfume). As if that weren't enough, Rachel soon discovers she's suffering from a previously unknown genetic disease: Shopping Impairment Syndrome (S.I.S.). The symptoms are claustrophobia, impatience and an inability to tolerate delays or inefficiencies. Unfortunately, this Disease du Jour manifests most commonly in department stores and shopping malls. S.I.S. is the creation of Dr. Now (a.k.a. David Halberman, M.D.), a brilliant opportunist hell bent on fame and fortune. Dr. Now uses his findings to terrify the Retail Federation of America as it scrambles to protect market share, extorting millions in research grants to stem this perfidious affliction. In Rachel, he's found the prototypical Shopper Zero. Along with six other women arrested on the day dubbed by the press as Mascara Saturday, Rachel is forced to attend Dr. Now's lame recovery program for impaired shoppers. But Dr. Now soon finds uppity women are neither docile nor cooperative. His prescription for their recovery proves to be the formula for his own downfall. Outside his clinic, the tabloids have a field day with Rachel’s depressingly normal life. They’re not the only ones who want a piece of Shopper Zero. Muscling in on Rachel’s criminal and civil travails is the legendary litigator Catherine “Madcat” Bingleigh, a lawyer who proves as manipulative and narcissistic as Dr. Now. Can Rachel and the rest of the Shopping Seven finesse a victory over Dr. Now? Is there life after tabloids? The answers to these and other metaphysical questions are revealed in Carol Conn’s novel, MASCARA SATURDAY.
Description
Rachel Holtner is your average New Yorker whose life took a strange turn. It started out as just another winter Saturday. A leisurely morning abed with husband and coffee, a quick stop at Bloomingdale's, and then the movies. What could go wrong? By day's end, Rachel Holtner's been arrested for felonious assault and inciting a riot. She's been hospitalized for an acute allergy attack (by perfume). As if that weren't enough, Rachel soon discovers she's suffering from a previously unknown genetic disease: Shopping Impairment Syndrome (S.I.S.). The symptoms are claustrophobia, impatience and an inability to tolerate delays or inefficiencies. Unfortunately, this Disease du Jour manifests most commonly in department stores and shopping malls, hence the name. Its primary victims: affluent, educated, pre-menopausal women in their prime earning and spending years. S.I.S. is the medical creation of Dr. Now (a.k.a. David Halberman, M.D.), a brilliant opportunist who's hell bent on fame and fortune. Dr. Now uses his findings to terrify the Retail Federation of America (i.e. every department store across the country) as it scrambles to protect market share. The notion of women going berserk in department stores is guaranteed to generate ulcers and sleepless nights for retail executives. Maximizing their bottom line fears of an S.I.S. epidemic, Dr. Now extorts millions of dollars in research grants to stem this perfidious affliction. In Rachel, he's found the prototypical Shopper Zero. Along with six other women arrested on the day dubbed by the press as Mascara Saturday, Rachel is forced to attend Dr. Now's lame recovery program for impaired shoppers. (“My name is Rachel, and I hate to shop.”) But Dr. Now soon finds that uppity women are not nearly as docile or cooperative as laboratory animals. His prescription for their recovery proves to be the formula for his own downfall. Outside his clinic, the tabloids have a field day with Rachel’s depressingly normal life. Long lost acquaintances and friends emerge to give Rachel a far more scandalous history than she could have possibly lived. Her new found celebrity proves irresistible to spurned boyfriends searching for their 15 minutes of fame by association. They’re not the only ones who want a piece of Shopper Zero. Muscling in on Rachel’s criminal and civil travails is the legendary litigator Catherine “Madcat” Bingleigh, a lawyer who proves as manipulative and narcissistic as Dr. Now. Can Rachel and the rest of the Shopping Seven finesse a victory over Dr. Now? Is there life after tabloids? The answers to these and other metaphysical questions are revealed in Carol Conn’s novel, MASCARA SATURDAY.
About the author
About the Author Now deeply immersed in the art world, Carol Conn began her career at the Washington Post. She went on to become a television writer and producer for nationally broadcast programs related to the fine arts and collecting. Carol is the Director of Modernism Fine Arts, a private gallery based in New York specializing in research and scholarship with a focus on Impressionist and Modern Art. Among other discoveries, she and her husband, Walter Maibaum, uncovered a group of 75 previously unknown Edgar Degas sculptures in plaster which caught the worldwide attention of collectors, scholars and dealers. Since then, Carol has co-curated international museum exhibitions of the Degas bronzes cast from the plasters. Mascara Saturday is her first novel.
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