I got married for the third time, believing I had met my soul mate. Luke was charming and gentle, and he owned two businesses. It didn't take long, however, for me to realize that Luke was insidiously abusive and derogatory; he began to chip away at my very being.
It took only weeks for me to realize that I had made yet another huge mistake. Just after we wed, Luke quit his job. He began to emotionally, verbally, and financially abuse me. I soon discovered, too, that I would never be the first woman in his life. His older sister, Mary, was his number one gal; he lived for her. This realization crushed me. To top it all off, Luke also began to treat my two children with contempt and derision. How I ached for my kids.
Along with the promise to help me financially as soon as his sister forgave him for marrying me (she held control of his finances), Luke spent my money—even though I didn’t have any. I was soon thousands upon thousands of dollars in credit card debt.
Of course I tried desperately to get Luke to see the hurt and the damage he was causing, but it was as if he did not hear me. His rage and abuse toward me and my kids only escalated. His initial promise to pay me back turned out to be a cold, stark lie. The most frightening aspect of my new marriage had come to light: Luke did not care one iota about how I felt. He was cold, distant, and totally self-absorbed. The only thing that mattered to Luke was.............Luke.
I could not help but come to an appalling conclusion: I could not continue to live with Luke; he had to leave. Just short of our second wedding anniversary, I finally got him to move out of my house. It was no light task to get him to leave; he was very determined to stay. He was like a giant leech, wrapping his destructive tentacles around me so tightly that I had to resort to trickery to extricate him.
But I did it. I finally got him to leave. Once again, I was free.
It was then, only then, when I came upon the term narcissist. Oh, God…. I had been married to a narcissist.