Counting Horses

This shocking auto-biography lands 5-year-old Terry Hyde in the friendly confines of the Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. He was healing from a bone infection and subsequent surgery to his right knee. He should have been released to go home. Why then, the almost deadly detour to the County General Hospital? A turn that would plunge him into the dark abyss of Satanic Ritual Abuse. This and other questions unravel in horrifying detail as the mystery unfolds. How did he survive? Barely! But there would be a heavy price to pay for that survival--the effects! The effects of shock and horror and an endless downward spiral into psychological darkness, where unknown monsters devoured souls of discarded children. How can such a premise lead to hope and victory? Through a healing journey of heartache, discovery and ultimate triumph.

What do I mean when I mention "occult (ritualistic) abuse?" Satan worshipers! Those individuals who constitute a dangerous subculture among us. Their works are works of darkness and the results they leave are lasting, reaching deep into the psyches of surviving victims. They are rarely intuited or discovered by law enforcement. Only on the counselor's couch are their crimes revealed and, for the most part, believed. Their victims, to them, are the throw away and the suppressible people of our society (orphans, runaways, transients and multi-generational family members--mostly children). Satan worshipers are not what they appear to be on the outside, wherein lies their power to deceive. They work in darkness, using drugs, torture and fear to disable and program their victims. My simplest definition of Satanic Ritualistic Abuse, is that, it is an absolute freak show. And why? 1- It is unbelievable that individuals (I don't qualify them necessarily as human beings) can participate in such behaviors without being either insane or possessed themselves. Yet, remarkably, they walk among us, basically unnoticed and undetected. Likewise did Jeffery Daumer, Ted Bundy and Jack the Ripper. 2- Recovery and healing, for much of the journey, is a painful regurgitation of emotional toxic waste--fear, hatred, guilt, shame and a connected trail of personal psychological demons who, at times, threaten our very ability to survive. 3- The incomprehensible, abject inability and futility of trying to explain the off scale, bizarre nature and details of the activities they force their victims to experience. It is one thing to remember such events and a totally different thing to explain and receive validation of the same. In such a quandary of emotional upheaval, it's no wonder that victims fall into a state of denial and compromised reconciliation. Sadly, many give up, fade, then cease to exist. They become emotional ciphers, numbed out members of a faceless society of our injured brothers and sisters, walking among us in silent, lingering dysfunction. Ultimately they either choose to fight or fold.