FROM THE INTRODUCTION TO MY MANUSCRIPT:
I suppose I always thought I would write a book someday. But like a real book – one with chapters, and these chapters would have titles. There would also be an index, maybe a dedication page, all that kinda real book stuff. But writing an entire non-fiction book, upward of 200 pages, is a lot of work and a lot of research, and let's face it, I'm kinda lazy.
I still did want to scribe a book, though. Put all the stuff in my head, pen to paper, have people read it. Then I got the idea. What if I already wrote my book and just didn't realize it? I thought of all the social media posts I wrote during the past decade. I could just gather them, and presto, a book. That would be easy, right? No developmental editing or indexing required, and the chapter titles could be different years. I know that my status updates, blogs, satirical writings, and general commentary — mostly on politics, the media, the world of entertainment, current events, and life in general — are brilliant. I mean, how could all those likes from my college fraternity buddies and septuagenarian aunts be wrong? Could I be onto something? I wondered.
Then, I got a fortune cookie that said, "You have a way with words. You should write a book." And whether it was the MSG or my silly, stupid ego, I believed it. This clinches it, I thought. I spent the next few months pouring over 12 years of online creativity to weed out the very best for this book and, of course, your enjoyment.
What follows is that compilation, from 2009 through 2020, complete with dates and, where appropriate, the referenced topics. My writing style mostly employs humor, sarcasm, or satire but can also be straightforward and earnest depending on the event and my mood that day. Some topics are too grave not to evoke a slightly disgruntled response. After all, we do live in crazy times.
WARNING: I'M A POLITICAL CONSERVATIVE.
This will be made abundantly clear to you in the first few posts. I know about 30 percent of you just dropped the book in horror, disgust and doused yourself in even more hand sanitizer. And that's OK. As Popeye said, "I yam what I yam."
Still here? Good.
If you're offended by anything written in this book, "Sorry, not sorry." And if you're not offended by anything written in this book, then "What the hell is wrong with you?"