The Soul Mate Expeditions

THE SOUL MATE EXPEDITIONS * Have you ever put up 100 posters on a busy city street trying to contact the woman whose phone number you'd lost? * Have you ever buried a beloved friend in the sand dunes near the Atlantic Ocean, fulfilling a request in his Last Will? * Have you ever had an experimental microchip implanted in your brain for the purpose of capturing moving images of your actual dreams? * Have you ever visited the Social Security offices in New York City and had your age changed? * Have you ever been trapped in traffic in the Lincoln Tunnel for over an hour, desperately needing to urinate? * Have you ever wondered what souls actually look like? These are just a few of the compelling and remarkable stories you will find in the collection you are now holding, or possibly staring at on a tablet. Lyle Greenfield's unmistakable "voice" will remain with you long after you've turned the last page and said "What the..?" Praise for The Soul Mate Expeditions "Greenfield's is a voice that ranges from the absurd to the profound, sometimes translating into the absurdly profound and/or the profoundly absurd—always with a measure of self-deprecation. His wry tone, however, does not conceal his empathy for the human condition and caring for the arts. He now gives us The Soul Mate Expeditions, a collection of musings and stories that paint a vivid picture of the mind of a writer I've known for 20-plus years." Robert Goldrich, Editor, SHOOT "Lyle puts the lip in solipsism. And yet his stories, mostly about a time and place not so long ago, are soulful indeed." David E. Rattray, Editor, The East Hampton Star "Cleansing my brain of this tragic modern world, I was engaged, provoked and at times laughing out loud to myself... and my dog. Turn off your phone, crack open the window and take the flight of fancy that is Lyle Greenfield's writing." Nancy Atlas, Singer Songwriter Bandleader Producer

THE SOUL MATE EXPEDITIONS * Have you ever put up 100 posters on a busy city street trying to contact the woman whose phone number you'd lost? * Have you ever buried a beloved friend in the sand dunes near the Atlantic Ocean, fulfilling a request in his Last Will? * Have you ever had an experimental microchip implanted in your brain for the purpose of capturing moving images of your actual dreams? * Have you ever visited the Social Security offices in New York City and had your age changed? * Have you ever been trapped in traffic in the Lincoln Tunnel for over an hour, desperately needing to urinate? * Have you ever wondered what souls actually look like? These are just a few of the compelling and remarkable stories you will find in the collection you are now holding, or possibly staring at on a tablet. Lyle Greenfield's unmistakable "voice" will remain with you long after you've turned the last page and said, out loud, to no one, "What the?" The original stories comprising The Soul Mate Expeditions (first section of this collection) were actually written 20 years ago. If you are reading this in the year 2024 it was 25 years ago. If you are reading this in the year 2099 it was100 years ago and I am dead. You're welcome to visit my gravesite in East Hampton, NY and to make a generous contribution to the East Hampton Food Pantry in my name. Thank you! Regarding the novella, "What Vienna Saw," the idea was a spore in my brain going back to 1985 and periodically I would deliver a feverish synopsis to a captive audience over dinner and drinks. Close friends instructed that if I didn't finally commit the story to paper I would be sent to my room without supper. Or drinks. Therefore… As for the Letters to the Editor of The East Hampton Star, I discovered in 1998 that it was the policy of this weekly newspaper to publish every signed letter submitted "with the exception those judged to be proselytizing, an invasion of privacy, libelous, or obscene." This idiosyncratic editorial position, in effect since the 1950s, quickly became a psychogenic discharge valve to me and I took unfair advantage, I fear, writing letters of 1,000 to 2,000 words in length, on any viewpoint, fantasy or personal humiliation I cared to share. More than one devoted reader strongly suggested I put them in a book. And this I have done. Praise for The Soul Mate Expeditions "Greenfield's is a voice that ranges from the absurd to the profound, sometimes translating into the absurdly profound and/or the profoundly absurd—always with a measure of self-deprecation. His wry tone, however, does not conceal his empathy for the human condition and caring for the arts—often reflected in his regular SHOOT column, "Earwitness."  He now gives us The Soul Mate Expeditions, a collection of musings and stories that paint a vivid picture of the mind of a writer I've known for 20-plus years." Robert Goldrich, Editor, SHOOT "Lyle puts the lip in solipsism. And yet his stories, mostly about a time and place not so long ago, are soulful indeed." David E. Rattray, Editor, The East Hampton Star "Cleansing my brain of this tragic modern world, I was engaged, provoked and at times laughing out loud to myself... and my dog. Turn off your phone, crack open the window and take the flight of fancy that is Lyle Greenfield's writing." Nancy Atlas, Singer Songwriter Bandleader Producer

About The Author Lyle Greenfield was born in Rochester, New York where he was raised Catholic and attended St. Margaret Mary grade school. He went to Confession every two weeks and each time confessed the same sins. He received a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Bowling Green University where he wrote a weekly humor column for the student newspaper and syndicated it to fifteen other university papers. (His heroes were the columnists Art Buchwald and Russell Baker.) He began his career in New York City as a copywriter for the ad agency J. Walter Thompson, later moving to Saatchi as creative director on the Jeep account. In 1980 Greenfield purchased a low-lying plot of farmland in Bridgehampton, Long Island and planted a vineyard. He then built The Bridgehampton Winery, the first winery in the Hamptons, but after a 15 year battle between climate and site, the vineyard failed; not, however, before its winemaker, Richard Olsen-Harbich, had won over 100 awards for the wines in National and International competitions. (The winery closed in 1995 and is now home of the South Fork Natural History Museum.) In 1989, Greenfield started Bang Music in New York, a company that today provides original music and audio services across all broadcast media. He is a founding member and former president of the Association of Music Producers (AMP) and co-creator of the AMP Awards for Music and Sound. Greenfield is a frequent contributor to the ad and entertainment industry magazine SHOOT, writing about music and popular culture. He is also a somewhat notorious writer of letters to the The East Hampton Star, a selection of which appears in this volume. He resides with his wife, Mary Jane Hantz Greenfield, in Amagansett and New York City.