The Canadian Nights

All of the short stories in this collection are true. Okay, so maybe they aren't true per se, but they are based on true stories. Actually based, is kind of a strong word. Inspired by true events is a bit more accurate. For example, it's true that you get a lovely view of Mt. Rainier if you are flying south from SeaTac on a clear day. However, the bit about the dragons circling the top of the mountain is entirely fictional. I will not apologize for such fabrications. I truly believe they make life more interesting. The Canadian Nights is a collection of comedy fairy tales set in a universe almost identical to our own—almost.

The president of the United States has a giant red button on his desk. If he ever chose to push this button, it would send the world into chaos. This button is for emergencies only and is designed to break the internet. How do I know this button exists? Please, everyone knows it exists. In The Canadian Nights, this infamous button is pressed while the Canadian prime minister is live streaming a hockey game. Without hockey to vent his pent-up aggression, the Canadian prime minister snaps. He stops saying "please" and "thank you". He pushes past people without saying "excuse me". He even litters. That's right he drops a gum wrapper on the sidewalk and doesn't pick it up. Worst of all, he has all US citizens on Canadian soil arrested and declares he will throw one to a horde of angry beavers every day until the President restores the internet. But one brave US citizen, Amala Patel, comes up with a plan to stop the carnage. She volunteers to be the next victim on the condition that the prime minister listen to her tell a story before her mauling. The bored, internet-starved prime minister agrees and becomes so enthralled by her fables that he continually postpones her mauling so he can hear more. The Canadian Nights is a compilation of Amala's sixteen best fables.

Katy Campbell still thinks it's weird to write about herself in the third person, which is why I am switching to the first person immediately. I now have thirty years of life experience behind me and have carefully documented my most insightful experiences in this book. That's right, all sixteen of the short stories in this collection are true. Okay, so maybe they're not true per se, but they are based on true stories. Actually, "based" is a bit of a strong word. They are inspired by true stories. For example, as a frequent traveler, I have seen the top of Mt. Rainier from my airplane window many times. However, the detail about the dragons flying around the top? I added that when I was writing Love is in the Air. I will not apologize for such fabrications. I truly believe they make life more interesting.