Do you remember when you fell in love--the excitement, always wanting to be with the other, kiss, hold each other and where mores permitted, have mad passionate sex all the time? Do you remember the other things that made that honeymoon period so special? You both were blinded to the other's personality traits that would have stopped you from mating such as one being a slob and the other a perfectionist. You had finally found someone who appreciated you for all that you were, even your warts. He or she listened to your every word with interest and understood the meanings, even the hidden ones. You had a magical bond of emotion where words were seldom needed. You could risk talking about any subject and do so to completion. Neither felt controlled by old feelings or events from the past. Everything was so easy. And then what happened? The magic began fading in a few months. Everything got harder to do. Both felt rejected asking for sex, neither felt appreciated as before, both stopped listening with rapt interest, neither felt heard as before. Discussions turned to arguments and some arguments you couldn't resolve.
Scientists tell us that we were never in love during those beginning months. They say that certain hormones many refer to as "Love Chemicals" converged in our bloodstreams to cause mating and the love was actually lust. All those feelings we had of being appreciated, listened to, heard, the magic bond were illusions produced by chemicals on the brain. When the chemicals lost their effects in six months, we lost all those wonderful attributes we believed were love. Many relationships broke up and marriages ended in divorce. Those who stayed found love to be less passionate, more routine, tedious and perhaps lifeless.
Would you like to feel again what you felt in the beginning, except this time on a permanent basis? The eight skills taught in this book are the eight attributes you lost with the love chemicals. You now can learn the skills and create the excitement every time you practice them.