MANY PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH BUT ONLY THE TRUTH THEY WANT TO HEAR. Some of our "long-held" or "closely-held beliefs," particularly about ourselves and about what we can and can't do, can and can't think or research and can or can't change are the most debilitating to us. Many people PREFER A KNOWN EVIL TO AN UNKNOWN JOY and are fearful of any change in the status-quo. An alcoholic or abusive mate may be terrible to live with but, at least, it is a known quantity. If a person takes a risk and exits the relationship, they may then find someone who is abusive and alcoholic "who will play the game their way" and recreate another "known evil" rather than explore a true "unknown joy." Such is the debilitating adherence to "known evils" or all kinds. Many people "try" to change their lives, in any way, for a month or two, but drift back to the comfortable, debilitating, destructive job, relationship, BELIEF ABOUT THEMSELVES and all else. Many people prefer known evils to unknown joys. There is an uncomfortable truth which is that "HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE." Commiserating with others and repeating the accumulated stories about "how it wasn't your fault" and "what he did and said" et al, leave no way to exit the precise condition which poisons your life. And, HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. If you are so centered on your weakness, powerlessness and inabilities to create your own life as you want it, then this "hurt" you feel becomes your center, negating the truth that it is you yourself who must heal yourself. Otherwise your HURT will emanate from you and can only HURT others, not assist them along their path to joy and fulfillment. If you surround yourself with other "hurt" people and rehash your enhanced victim stories with each other, where is the only possible place you are "going to?" You are going to where you are coming from and will continue to live in this sea of poison. How can you possibly experience happiness and a new, fresh life, a whole new creation, if surrounded by these people? They must heal themselves. Are you going to sacrifice your life just to preserve a debilitating relationship with someone who cannot better your own human experience? This is the only life you have. It is not a dress rehearsal. There is no other time than right now to make an absolute personal commitment to leave the past behind and to CREATE A NEW REALITY FOR YOURSELF. You can create this new reality, your new life, by understanding the nature of commitments. There are no small or large commitments, there are only commitments. You either do what you say you'll do or you don't. There is nothing else. If a person says that they are going to find more rewarding work today, if that is a true personal commitment, then THAT DECISION IS ALREADY MADE AND NEED NEVER BE ADDRESSED AGAIN. It is a done deal, a fait accompli, finis and final. Anything else is not a commitment; it may be a wish or a hope but IT IS NOT A FINAL DECISION. If a person is addicted to gambling and realizes that it is consuming and destroying their life it will do them no good if they "promise themselves or others" that they won't gamble again. THE ONLY THING THAT COUNTS IS RESULTS, PERIOD. Wishes, hopes, what we worked so hard for and devoted so much time and effort to, prayed for, dreamed about and all else counts for nothing. The only thing which counts is results. So, understanding this, the real instigator of change is TO ACTUALLY MAKE A DECISION, ONE TIME, A PERSONAL COMMITMENT, FINIS, A FAIT ACCOMPLI.....A DECISION. Once a decision is made it need never be made again. If a person makes a real commitment to cease gambling, that commitment never needs to be made again. It is done and done. So, how does a personal know if they've made this real decision and commitment. They will get and stay away from gambling and people who gamble. Don't even think of it. Run away! No contact, reborn. Resurrected into a new life. This is FINAL FREEDOM.